Live fast die young. The evolutionary motto of my life and my mental illness. I hit my prime from 18-22 years old, having internet fame, growth in my research, music, satire creations, etc. I had dated many women and met some of them (I originally met them all online, through my creative work). My growth has stagnated and stopped in every way, most people at this age no longer date people they meet online. Being borderline, the only purpose of my life is to have love, and that is not something I will experience again. I can only date people with schizophrenia spectrum disorders because everyone else is too judgemental and wont understand me. People I get along with are nearly impossible to find, but it was possible when I had an online presence that lead people who were similar to me, but that has stopped. I could make money, but I don't want to be rich and alone. The good part of my life is over, and there is no evidence that it will ever be good again, no matter what I do. Fuck everyone that claimed to care about me but never did the smallest things to help